Unaiza Nasim

There was a time when there was only one man in my life. Someone I had known all through my life. I had seen him in all modes and despite of the likeliness or the disliking at that specific time, he remained the only man in my life for probably the longest time period of my life.

Then time changed and that man whol;e heartedly accepted me, the daughter to spend my life with another man. The parting was not that easy ( I still remember crying on the flight on our way back from honeymoon:P) but then it happened that I truly, madly, deeply fall in love with the other man in my life!

Where the first man taught me to read, write, stand, fight for my right, the basics, the manners and so much that I dont even remember, the other man just made me learn three things Love, trust and respect. There were no hardcore lessons, no lectures just gestures. And probbaly, it has never been so easy to learn anything for a stubborn  me with so many if’s, why’s and but’s. (They are now replaced with an inquisitive “how”  the answer of which is always:Wikipedia :P)

The first parting wasn’t easy and I wasnt quite in the mood to move on to this new life. I thought it would take me forever to adjust.

Funny part is that I have to go to Karachi to attend some weddings, meet my lovely girls (niece) and visit teh old man, the first man in my life as he had a surgery recently, but the love of this second man stops me so much that I have opened up the emirates site at least 15 times to book a flight and never completed it!!!

Who said loving someone was easy!

Two men who matter the most to me.

The day starts from a quick toothbrush keeping an eye on the hyper active sweetie and ends with giving her a quick warm bath, zipping her in sleeping bag and feeding her to sleep.

She keeps me busy the whole day, let it be kitchen where I make her sit on her Bumboo and the live commentary of what’s happening: pan on the stove, fire turned on, the onion sliced, the egg broken into the pan….. till we both taste what comes out.

I so want to document everything: the chemistry me and Tabeer share. Shes my lil monkey baby whom we teach tricks and she plays them on us. Her babbling, shouting, temper, hyper activeness, social butterfly that she’s… she’s my replica!

She is being loved where ever she goes, let it be the guy at the petrol station or the kids surrounding her in the grocery store, she’s a celebrity and she enjoys being the center of attraction!

I love everything about her. I love being able to be in love with her:)

And now when I start writing about her, I just dont know where to begin from!

I have spent more than half of my life, I feel that very strongly.With dreams of becoming an astronaut and with a vision to bring a change in someone’s life (started as a speaker) here I’m with some of my unaccomplished goals.  Less time left and so much to do. (Most of which I guess, will remain undone as life’s adding the packs of responsibilities that I dont seem to find doing justice with.) Life has been a series of incidents each of which has taught me a lesson. And I really wish to list them all. How I have learned to survive in times when I felt like suiciding, how the trust in God and the faith and the will power dragged me out of incidents after which I thought life will never be the same. It happened that the cart kept pushing through unknown powers and I feel it a responsibility to pass it on before I become a part of debris.I shall write a book, one day, dedicating it to my daughter so that she learns from my experiences, if not having it published for the world. ( I would love to share the experience though!) I just dont know where to start from…May be you can ask me questions and may be that might lead me to the start…  

Finally something triggered me to make the long awaiting post. Another observation.<br />So this happens to be an outcome of the committee hi-tea that I had at my place. It’s a group of twelve people, all beautiful, groomed ladies that are members who do it for fun/savings. We collect a particular amount every month and who ever gets it invites the rest to a lunch/dinner/hi-tea. Some sort of treat!<br />This was my turn. Me, who had missed so many of the committee parties. One of the reason was I found the girls too artificial.( I dont know the exact word that’s to be used may be pseudo!)   With designer bags, designer clothes big talks, fashion…Its not that I dont appreciate beauty, I love keeping myself up to date and groomed. But too much of this brand talk is a turn off for me!<br />I get the feeling that this makes us lose interest in the person itself. I appreciate good clothes  but I appreciate more the person inside those clothes.A branded bag may no doubt good but no better than a beautiful heart. The real beauty lies within a person. The thoughts you hold, are way important than what you wear. Unfortunately, we are losing interest inside the person and have started focusing on the make up!<br />The party went really well with beautiful girls, tastefully done  place, good food, the aroma of branded perfumes around and some wonderful gifts that the girls brought for me. It was just like another version of “sex and the city”. What lacked however was sweetness, the sincerity!<br /> And at the end of the day I sat back and thought I’m just not the person to be a part of all this! I would dress up in rags and have some fun on the street than doll up and brag (even if you are not bragging, I feel it’s showing off)  (May be that’s why they say money speaks) With so much suffering and hunger around in the world, even if I’m a millionaire I would have my limits.Is it not worth to feed few hungry men than to create this artfical bubble and think you are out of this world!<br />Have some one ever experienced the joy that comes  from within?? The purse emptied, the heart filled??? The warmth of a hug, the gratitude that is never experienced….<br />I am better off with “real” people… 

Guys, time to gear up once again and help our brothers in Swat.This time Awab Alvi is having a fund raising  campaign for the immigrants from Swat. Cotact either Awab through his blog or email me so that I can forward it to him.  

There’s a whole list of things that I want to do in life.

Yes, I still feel energetic and full of life as I was 10 years back. (I just don’t believe I said that! and before the lil one wakes up and reminds me that I have other priorities let me continue…)

So the list says I want the back-seated romance to come back in my (our) life (-ves), I want to do all the good I can to all the people I can. I want to cook good, eat good and yet lose another 10 pounds to get back to the better old me (that doesn’t say Im not good now). I want to blog more, read more and do something that helps me in carrying this baby all day long snuggled with momma (trying to pluck my eyelashes if not cheeks). (Sending her to a play school to have some sanity or I will blog from a mental hospital if things remain same for another month)

I know life’s never going to be the same. I have more responsibilities and time will only add on to them. 

Oh yes, Im losing hair like anything! Every time I comb my hair there are locks falling off and if this remains same I;m bald soon! (Congratulations friends! you have a bald friend:P) I’m so gonna miss my hair:P

Back to reality : Its almost early morning and I need to get back to sleep to gain energy for the upcoming “eventful day” . Also, I’m having insomnia again!

People grow old with time.I spoke to her after 15 years and realised I haven’t grown up…. It’s just numbers that added up the years.And probably few fine lines on the face.I’m still the old me! 

This post is a result of the thoughts that rose in my mind after an hour long conversation with one of my oldest buddy. Just for reference the girl is my school friend who was staying at Dubai Airport on transit on her way to London.We were discussing  if  there should be one baby or more. Off course, that is suppose to be a personal choice but what raise the question was when she said in this era of recession do you think you can afford two kids??She was kin of right. There had been times when I have wanted to send my girl to the best schools and always thought if they would be affordable. I want to educate her  in the best possible ways. And then there are times when the thought comes that I can afford to send her to the best schools but what if I have another baby? Will I be able to send the other one to equally good school? On the other hand I believe that its all God’s gift. He give us kids, even when we don’t plan to have them and then further bless us with wealth which actually is from the baby’s luck. In other words, every baby brings it’s own luck.  Just not having a baby with a reason of not being to afford is something which is hard for me to gulp down. I am sort of confused (yet another confusion! ) Is it that we dont believe in God providing us with everything or we are right that two kids can be unaffordable?  

last weekend was amazing.I had a dinner with some of my old classmates. People with hwom I’d never imagine meeting up again! Life’s funny! It sure is.They were the ones who thought it was their right to tease every girl in the class. I being the teddy bear (My nick name back in college) was one of the victims.I was short, chubby, had a boy cut and the cut wasn’t only it, I was a boyish girl.Years down the lane, I lost my that personality. I evolved into a girl. They boy inside me faded, I became a girl. An adventrous girl.And then I got more into girlish things. INterior decoration, cooking, baking, dressing up… I hardly realised I had transformed into this lady: the wife of a gentleman, the mother of this cute little darling and all but the new me!I loved sitting with old fellows recalling whjat we had done back in school, cherishing the names we called eachother with and how much we all hated eachother  …Life is at it’s best.One more thing. I dont whine much. I’m glad I dropped the habbit while pushing my cart. I’m someone who is just content with what I have got now. I don’t know how tomorrow will be but I hope it’s going to be even more beautiful just like my yesterdays were.

One of teh many things I would like my daughter to do is go for camping in woods.

I think its very important to let them know how life without luxury is.  I think, when you send your kids to the best schools in town and provide them with every good thing, it becomes necessary to let them exercise how life without all of it could be.

You never know how life might turn out to be and so your kids should atleast have seen an aspect of  how to be on their own and live without any luxury.